SF ACCORDING TO ALEXIS PENNEY #8: SOME THING

#8. SOME THING. This is the drag show that happens every Friday at the Stud, it's thrown by Glamamore and Vivyanne Forevermore, they are really funny and crazy and pretty punk. They have the punkest, weirdest queens there all the time and totally weird themes, it's a really rad show. It's also kind of a who's who of the gay weirdos in SF, and I always run into guys I've web cammed with there, too, so, duh, I'm there every Friday haha.

SF ACCORDING TO ALEXIS PENNEY #7: THE RUSSIAN RIVER RESORT

#7. THE RUSSIAN RIVER RESORT. This is actually in Guerneville, which is maybe an hour and a half North of San Francisco, it is paradise of a small-town where pretty much everyone is gay. The resort itself is motel-style, all enclosed around a bar and a pool, so you can sit around and get wasted all day, hang in the pool or the hot tub, shoot the shit with the hilarious queens that work there (our favorite is the manager Gregory, former Falcon video star!) and then troll the town in the evening. There's a gay bar a block away called Rainbow Cattle Company that is really rad and super classic, hardwood everywhere with a bunch of Tom of Finland shit, and also this really insane one called Yamagata's, which kind of looks like a Virgin Airlines plane on the inside, lots of violet light and weird fabric. Also a lot of old hippies end up retiring in Guerneville, so I always see at least a few people wandering the streets there in the middle of the night muttering about time travel or whatever. Totally my favorite place in America!

SF ACCORDING TO ALEXIS PENNEY #5: HOT DOG CARTS

#5. HOT DOG CARTS They have these carts all over the city, mostly in the Mission, that sell hot dogs wrapped in bacon with grilled onions on them. To die for.

SF ACCORDING TO ALEXIS PENNEY #3: THE CASTRO CRAWL

#3. THE CASTRO CRAWL The Castro has a rap for being hella cheezy but that makes it also hella funny, especially for me and my friends because we are all total punk burn-out whatever queens and so all the preppy gays sneer at us but it's fun. We usually do this on Wednesday (no cover!), we'll start at the Edge, which is this really hilarious bar decorated with like Universal Studio's cast-offs, like space-age stuff and a big weird fake mountain and lots of rainbow boas, then move to Badlands, which is kind of the penultimate Castro club, lots of tvs showing pop remixes, a circular dance floor and lots of fog (BEST place to do poppers, preferably if Cascada is playing), then next is either the Midnight Sun, which is a weird video bar that shows music videos and funny tv snippets, or Moby Dick's, and then we'll usually hit up this fierce queen Juanita More's party Bootcall at Qbar, and end at 440 (formerly Daddy's), which is, you guessed it, a daddy bar and the best place to pick up older dudes or freak them out. So fun!

SAN FRANCISCO ACCORDING TO ALEXIS PENNEY #2: MISS SHANNON

#2. MISS SHANNON She is a really insane drag queen who goes to all the dance and drag parties in SF, drives around in a red BMW with enormous hair and enormous tits and is just an all-around character. She says a lot of crazy things and always carries around a bunch of glossy photos of herself to hand out to people. Very intense and hilarious. Love her.

SAN FRANCISCO ACCORDING TO ALEXIS PENNEY #1: AUNT CHARLIE'S

OUR DEAR FRIEND ALEXIS PENNEY HAS SUBMITTED HER TOP TEN FAVORITE THINGS IN SF. FIRST ON HER LIST HAPPENS TO BE THE LOCATION OF THE "IF IT ENDS IN 'ISCO IT'S A.OK" POP UP AFTER-PARTY, AUNT CHARLIE'S LOUNGE. SEE YOU ON THE DANCE-FLOOR HONEY!!



#1. AUNT CHARLIE'S LOUNGE I've been doing a party here for almost 2 years now (HIGH FANTASY, every Tuesday), and this is really the first spot I felt comfortable when I moved here. It's a cozy little bar done in red and mirrors with a ton of Christmas lights and a huge rad neon pink sign above the bar, on Turk & Taylor in the Tenderloin, which is basically like a disaster movie if you've never been there - tons of street people wandering around in a daze, really bright street lights and lots of cops and trash blowing every where. All the regular clientele are in their 60s or older and totally cute - whenever I come in it's like the self-esteem zone for me because all the regulars gush all over how young and skinny I am haha. My favorite is Hola Bell Pepper, she's this really hysterical retired drag queen who is full of SF history and just says a lot of funny shit. The bartenders, Jose, Joe, Barry and crew, are all really sassy and sweet, too. That place is totally my home, I love it.